Let’s just take the other one really quickly here. So we’ll take one more here.
“Love your life now while waiting until you look a certain way.”
So when your clients come to you, what is it about their life that they want to love now?
So let’s wrap this up, right? If you were looking at this, what would be – and I know we’re putting you on the spot, so it doesn’t have to be 100%. Let’s brainstorm together.
If all of you were looking at these things and obviously, we want to focus on shining the spotlight on the client and we want to help these women aged 20-50 years old (for now, let’s stick with women), they’re working, they have kids, they’re in a relationship, they have little time, if we were to shine the spotlight on them, what would be the biggest challenge or problem that they’re facing right now? What would that be?
And if they take care of themselves, Christine, that’s great, by the way. I mean, they’re taking care of themselves, what would they want? If I say to myself ‘taking care of myself’, would that mean fitting in a smaller dress, looking healthier, going on a vacation? What would the representation of taking care of myself be?
So when your clients come to you, what do they come to you for more of? What is the physical thing that they come to you and say, “Okay, I’m going to work with you. I’m going to coach with you online. I’m going to work with you offline. I’m going to come in. When I do this thing with you, I’m going to feel better about myself. I lose 20 lbs., I’m going to feel better about myself. I’m going to look sexy in a bikini. I’m going to feel better about myself. This is the thing that I want for myself and I want it right now” because now I’m going to spotlight on them again, right?
Shining the spotlight on them and they want a certain thing, what is the thing that they want that will make them feel really good about themselves? All the fears that you’re living with kind of comes out and that’s the reason for why. It’s a representation of working hard, not working out, taking care of everyone else’s needs before your own needs. And it’s all that frustration that builds up in people, right? Where is the physical representation of that? Every time they see that, all these fears come up for them.
So this is good. So if we know they want to lose weight and the symbol of that is every time they look in the mirror or they put on a dress, it’s not who they are. It’s not their true self and who they really want to be.
So if that’s the biggest problem, how can we help create a message to overcome that problem for them? So step one is using the problem, right? Step two is almost adding to that, “Why can’t they do it right now?”
Let’s just play around with this. They want to lose 20 lbs. because every time they look in the mirror or they put on that dress, they see all the flab that they absolutely don’t want anymore. It’s enough. They want to get rid of it because it represents so many things in their life that they want to get rid of, all that baggage they’re carrying around. Why can’t they get there right now?
The biggest reason why is because they’re scared to give up everything that they’re going right now like you said in the beginning of the call, ‘I don’t want to eat less. I feel cranky. I wanted to have an extra glass of wine, extra food. You know what? The alarm is going to up at six o’clock, but damn it! I’m going to put it on snooze for now for 20 minutes. There’s no way I’m going to get up.”
The biggest fear is actually not time. It’s giving up the habits. It’s like going to McDonald’s and still eating something healthy in McDonald’s. That’s what they want to do. Unfortunately, that’s how we’re brought up.
So the first component is I want to lose weight, how to lose 20 lbs. a week and still look sexy in front of a mirror and put on the dress you’ve always dreamed of. So that’s kind of like the idea behind it.
The reason they don’t want to do it (which Christine absolutely nailed) is they don’t want to change. They do not want to give up. And what is the no. 1 thing they don’t want to give up? That’s why they’re coming to you because you’re a miracle worker, right? They think, “I’m not giving it up” and they’re going to get the result, right?
But we’re not fighting that right now. So this is very important. We’re not going to say, “No, you can’t give any of that stuff up.” We’re not lying to them. When they come and coach with us, we’re going to get them there, but you can’t go directly in conflict and say, “No, we want you to give up these things,” right?
And then the third piece of this message, your message is what? What are you going to do to help them? But you’re not going to say, “Hey, I’m going to work with you for 30 minutes and make you strong again.” That’s too obvious. That is not having empathy for them. That is just shining the spotlight on you. Are you with me? You’re taking the spotlight off of them and you put the spotlight back on you.
Now, this is a very difficult concept so play with me. How can you say, “Here’s what I can help you with” by shining the spotlight on them?
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